Current Projects

Yes, I am still alive, and still doing things occasionally. I just don’t like using wordpress much anymore because the new Gutenberg Blocks editing system is literally the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with, I can’t get it to work, I hate it so so much, and I can’t afford a business plan to fix it with a plugin.

Anyway here’s some stuff I’ve been up to.

RPG stuff

Haverdale, an RPG & setting. Buffy meets Sabrina meets the Hardy Boys, in a setting best described as ‘Lovecraft, but upbeat’. Deep One Hybrids in docksiders and preppy clothes, cute witches with crystal necklaces, meddling kids with a van. Wisecracking high schoolers in a small seaside town in northern Massachusetts. The players will primarily find themselves embroiled in mysteries, high school drama, and arcane shenanigans, chasing down a cryptid causing trouble in the nearby forest, staking vampires, or maybe foiling an alien invasion in-between class periods or over the weekend. Encountering malicious ancient bizarreities generally ends with said creature getting a baseball bat to the face, accompanied by a snarky comment about its appearance.

Currently working on finishing the mechanics and fleshing out setting details.

The Fair Isles & The Endless Sky, settings for BX/OSE. You can read more about both on my other blog. The Fair Isles, Inse Far, are inspired by the terrain and folklore of the islands of the North Atlantic; the Endless Sky by Central Asia, Slavic folklore, and the Great Plains.

Webcomics

I have literal months’ worth of scripts for both [Misc.] and Death, Snark, and Coffee Beans, but it’s been hard to have the motivation to draw lately. Hoping to update more in the new year than I have in this one.

Writing

Starship Express

Working on plotting a novel to follow up Express Request, as well as some other stories of uncertain length. I’ll end this post with a piece from one.

Maddie Myers and the Midnight Manuscripts

A novel about how libraries are magic, currently in the outlining stage. The basic premise is that Belief breaks down the walls between the real world and others.

Saffron Blue, Monster Hunter Secondary world fantasy, vaguely-post-Renaissance, two teenage/young adult main characters who hunt monsters for money. Currently two finished short stories; planning to write more and collect into an anthology.

Anyway that’s pretty much what I’ve been up to, at least as far as things that are ready to share. If you like my stuff and want to support me in getting off my butt and getting something done, my Buy me a Coffee page is linked in the Things I’ve Done tab. External validation is really helpful for me because my brain doesn’t know how to produce any motivation on its own.

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A Starship Express Snippet

Tessibel Pleiades Hompson slung her feet up on the console. Well, up was a relative term in space, but her chair was attached to what served as the floor when she landed properly, so she called it up to keep her spatial recognition from freaking out. Her cat purred, pushing his head into her palm as she pet him. She frowned, checking the readout on the touchpad in her other hand; something was definitely off in one of the ship’s physical systems. She sighed and called up the Wanderbird’s schematics. Probably the damn coolant pipe again.

“Sorry, Mr. Darcy. I have to fix the ship. Again.” She pushed the Russian blue gently off her lap before unbuckling; the cat drifted upward, meowing plaintively, until he managed to hook his claws into a strap on the ceiling.

She grabbed her rebreather from a pocket and took a few huffs to make sure it was working before she opened the floor panel. The air circulation system should remove any excess fumes and toxins, but if it was the coolant, a whiff of the first burst of gas could be deadly. She checked to make sure Mr. Darcy was a safe distance away, then opened a drawer and grabbed a magnetic screwdriver. Four screws off, tucked safely in a pocket so they wouldn’t float away; one more check on the cat (he was working his way down the wall), then off came the floor panel. A faint hiss of gas; she pulled a scrubber from the tool drawer and ran it through the air between herself and the hole.

Sure enough, the coolant pipe had sprung a stress fracture; the scrubber whirred as it passed and an indicator light flashed blue. A line of sealant, and the light went off; she hesitated a moment, then added a wrap or two of duct tape just to be sure. She made another scrubber check, close to the pipe, and then secured the scrubber in its slot. Floor panel screwed in, screwdriver re-secured, drawer closed. Rebreather off. Problem solved; until her next hyper-jump, anyway. Hopefully she could make it to a Starship Express depot. I really need to have the StarEx mechanics give you a once over, old girl. She considered. Maybe a twice-over. The SES Wanderbird had come to her used, and though it still wasn’t a particularly old spacecraft, StarEx pilots tended to fly their ships hard. It was a necessity when evading pirates, orbital debris, and people who – for one reason or another – really did not want certain messages to reach their destinations.

On the way back to her seat she rummaged around in her meager fridge, eventually deciding on a Pepsi-Cola drink, ‘for all your carbonated needs!’ She extended the flexible straw and pulled off the seal. The soda was flat; but then, she’d probably had it in the fridge for the past month. She shrugged, took another sip, and buckled in. She keyed up a classic C. J. Cherryh novel on her touchpad. Then she leaned forward and rekeyed the hyper-jump, and off she went – now bound for St. Brysse, and its orbital refueling station.

Writing Comedy

There are a lot of reasons to try to do comedy in writing, or just in everyday life. Yes, comedy can be taught. This post is largely focused on writing it, but it should be fairly easy to distill into general advice.

The stakes in humor are usually low.
The difference between drama and comedy is exaggeration, and character reaction.
For example, the action scene gets funny fast when the guy gets kicked in the crotch.

It’s also funny when people get self-referential during uncomfortable situations.

Comedy is also often surprising; unexpected things are more likely to make people laugh. See Non-sequitors below.

Situational- out of their element and trying (and mostly failing) to cope.

Physical comedy- people doing ridiculous things. People even suffering. But really low stakes.

Linguistic Humor
Wordplays: puns work best when the one who tells it isn’t the one who set it up.
Accurate but unexpected descriptions: the ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.
Awesome, especially when they can be tied to a particular character because they describe things in ways nobody else does.

Here’s a brief example of wordplay: if something is really easy to figure out, you’d probably say it’s obvious. But if it’s about someone’s mother or father, try goig with ‘apparent’.

Character humor
Something about how the characters do things is inherently funny because of who they are.
This kind of contains and kind of leads into Running Gags, which is when one particular bit of character humor is repeatedly called back to.

Cognitive humor
You have three pieces of the puzzle, the fourth is the punchline, and the reader has to figure it out themselves.

Non-sequitors
Something that quite literally doesn’t follow in the expected sequence.
Often funniest when the reader can draw a connection between the non-sequitor and what came before, yet still doesn’t quite make sense.
Lists are great, when the last thing in the list is completely unexpected.

Writing and Worldbuilding- thoughts on heroes, magic, and fantasy races.

So. I feel like I should give my readers (if there are any of you; I wouldn’t know, nobody ever comments) more than just glimpses of my everyday life.

So here are some writing tips and such-like.

WRITING

Keeping Characters Active

1. Does the hero ever do anything the other characters couldn’t, simply because s/he is the hero?

Or, in other words, do you ever write a scene purely for the hero to do something that they didn’t even need to be there for? Something that gave the hero themselves no character development at all?

If the answer is yes, you might want to try writing the scene without the hero. Both the scene and your hero will likely be better off for it.

2. Can you write [pick a character] out of the book?

In other words, how hard would it be for you to write out that person- do they ever actually do anything, or do they stand on the sidelines and watch others act?

If it’s fairly simple to erase the character from the story, then- while this may sound harsh- you might want to do just that.

If you prefer to keep the character, you might consider rewriting other scenes you’ve already written, in order to keep the character doing things.

WORLDBUILDING

Magic Systems

Magic can be a bit of a tricky subject, and there are people who’ve written far better essays on this topic than I could. Brandon Sanderson comes to mind.

However, one thing I can say is that Magic needs to be believable. That may sound like an oxymoron, but it’s true. That doesn’t mean it has to be believable in our world; just that it needs to follow its’ own laws and have predictable effects.

A given magic system might function off the principles of chaos, but it should comply to its’ internal laws just as well as a system that is based on order. Even if a character can’t predict the effect of a spell by the words or gestures or plants or glyphs or whatever used to cast it, it should at least be possible for them to do so.

Now, you don’t need to write out the rules in your story- in fact, it often works better if you let the reader (and, sometimes, the characters) figure the rules out for themselves. However, if you do write out the rules… keep a few back. That will let you do unexpected things with your magic system when necessary, but things that nonetheless follow the laws. It willmake your magic systems more believable, and a lot more fun to read.

Races/Species/Peoples

Whatever you call them, your world might include a multitude of sentients beyond humans. Whether the setting is sci-fi or fantasy- either way, you want some believability, right?

In fantasy, there are a few ‘stock’ peoples- Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Half-elves, Orks. Some people add subraces (night elves, bright elves, light elves, wood elves, blood elves, etcetera etcetera ad nauseum). And, while there are still a lot of avenues that can be explored with these ‘traditional’ races… I’m going to leave them alone for a bit and dig farther back.

Landvaettir. Ever hear of them? They’re Old Norse nature spirits, protectors of the land. Their territory could range from as small as a certain boulder, to a chunk of the country. Try looking them up- you might get some ideas.

The Faeries? Think of Victorian-era tales, with a dash of older legends. Are your Fae the Elvish type? Perhaps amoral, aloof beings, who have little understanding of mortals? Or perhaps you go the Eastern route, and your Fai are Kitsune, Tengu, and Kappas.

And then, of course, you can make up your own.

Catfolk? Maybe a bit overdone, but there’s potential- it’s all in the depiction. Perhaos their ears are at the sides of the head, instead of the top?

How about a race that seems like humans, but has small antlers, like branches jutting from their foreheads? What might you do with them?

A dark-skinned race with golden eyes and feathers for hair?

A small, gnomelike people… with four arms?

Whatever your races are, be certain to think about their place in the world. They don’t just exist; they have a history, and their interactions, among themselves and other peoples, have shaped the path of their world.

Phew. A little longer than I’d planned… anyway, I hope I gave you some good ideas.

Aramarian Old Tongue

I’ve been working on a language for a world I’m creating. I’m still not sure whether the world will be for roleplay, writing, or both. The language is sort of their equivalent (as far as importance goes) of Latin and Quenya.

I’m not going to go into the linguistic rules yet (because they’re overly detaile and I don’t have a lot of time right now), but here are a few words and phrases.

 

One who is gifted with luck (a lucky person): na’ärukhyebha’el

Luck of Heroes (essentially, a mix of ‘Good luck’ and ‘Fare thee well’): aeho ë ärukhyebha

Blade: tebha

Moon: sukyö

Child: rhäned

Hello/Goodbya: sielan (say shell-awn)

Die (the item): pelel

Dice: peleli

Wood/forest: yudar

Town: anie

Archaeofuture

So, one of my current projects is a story set fifty million years from now, after the pretty-much-total extinction of humanity. I’ve also got two stories set later- one 200 years after, one 1200 years after. Bonus points if you can figure out the original words to this ‘ancient chant’:

So shisiz etale asar castuays,
Shere earsor alongong time.
Shale aph tmake she bes tus shinks,
It sona pill clime.

Zephyrst madanis Skipper u
Wildu sherseri best,
Tmake sheu sherscoms terble
Inshirtro picai lanest.

Nophone, nolites, nomoderkar,
Nodis inkleukh zhury
Ly Crobinson Caruso
Itsprim idise azkanbi.

Sojone usere ichwi kmyphrens,
Yoreshur toket asmile,
Fromses enstran dedcas taways
Hiron killkan zisle!

Seriously, if I hadn’t (re)written it I might not understand it. Hint: It’s a theme song from an old TV show.

Useful things adventurers forget

I was thinking about the more realistic side of adventuring, whether in fantasy or otherwise, and came up with this:

A List of Items that Adventurers Need but Oft Forget, in no particular order.

 

1. Wax plugs, to protect against harpies, sirens, and your companion’s snoring.

2. Small rocks, to cause distractions.

3. A deck of cards, because some unscrupulous gamblers mark their decks. You may wish to follow suit. Pun intended.

4. Map/scroll case- many an adventurer has lost his way when his map fell apart.

5. Comb and hair pins: useful when you have long hair. Also, many hair pins can function as lockpicks in a pinch.

6. Sewing needle and thread- those sword cuts in your cloak won’t heal like you do. Also useful for stitching large wounds when you’re out of healing.

7. Bowl and utensils- eating with your hands isn’t all it’s romanticized to be. Besides, ever try eating stew with your fingers?

8. Soap. Seriously. Monsters tend to have good senses of smell, and you don’t want the dragon to scent you before you even start.

9. Two sets of clothes, for similar reasons to the above.

10. Writing kit. This way, you can sketch a map of a dungeon or a picture of a puzzle for further reference.

11. Crowbar. Club, Door-opener… the fighter’s lockpick.

 

If you have any more, feel free to comment.

An excerpt from my Science Fiction novel.

This is a scene from the first chapter. There’s a prologue that tells what caused the crash.

The eighteen-year-old stood once more at the crash site. He hadn’t been here since the crash, six years earlier. He hadn’t changed much since then. He was still wiry, and wore his shaggy red hair at medium length. He’d grown a little bit taller, and slightly more muscled due to his practice of a self-formulated style of martial arts. Otherwise, Keneth was basically the same as he had been that day, six years earlier.

All that remained of the crash was the plowed-up bit of ancient stone, the wrecked speeder itself now covered with the faintly luminescent blue-gray moss that was found all over the underlevels. As Keneth stood there, he heard a faint scratching noise. Whirling around, he saw a caped and hooded figure behind him. The figure threw something at him. Catching it, Keneth looked. It was a laserfoil.

“Wha-?” Keneth began, but just then his opponent activated a laserfoil of his own. Fft-zzzz! A grayish-silver blade sprang from the black hilt. Keneth, eyes widening, activated his brown-hilted laserfoil, and marveled at the turquoise blade. But he didn’t have much time to do so, for his opponent came rushing at him. It was only by sheer luck that the still-startled teen blocked his enemy’s blade, but he soon managed to stand on his own in the fight- barely. He managed to translate some of his martial arts style into blade movements, as well as getting in a few kicks here and there. Still, he was mostly holding on by luck alone. But he had a few tricks up his sleeve.

The silent opponent jerked thrice in quick succession. Three metal spikes had struck home. As Keneth’s left hand swung left and completed the swing, he knocked the opponent off his feet by swinging his left leg into the backs of his opponent’s knees. Meanwhile, Keneth had been defending himself, but now he took the laserfoil- and sliced. He then fell to the ground, retching. When he had recovered, he stood and took his new blade with him as he returned shakily to his speeder and flew away.

I’m currently trying to work out a title for the story. Any ideas are appreciated; just put them in a comment.

Writing Science Fiction

I’m currently working on a novel that I have described to a friend as ‘The 1920s of Star Wars, as written by Isaac Asimov after watching too much Tron.’ It’s kind of a science fantasy/ space opera/ space exploration thing, with some Asimov, Tron, and Three Musketeers thrown in.

Anyway, if fantasy is about the magic, science fiction is about the technology. If you’re writing a sci-fi novel, it’s best to do your research to determine if your tech would actually work, or just blow up in your hero’s face (which is also useful at times).

As an example, my sci-fi story has a weapon called a laserfoil, which I’ve detailed below:

Laserfoil: A very useful weapon. Though sadly hard to find if you are not an Imperial Soldier, the basic properties and technology of these weapons are fairly well known. The device functions by means of the emission of a blade of supercooled photons, with a thin coating of superheated plasma. The secret lies in building it correctly in order to keep the blade stable. Hence the focusing emitter, which keeps the blade stable by recycling the energies involved and reusing them, as well as holding the blade to its proper length and shape. However, if this emitter is broken while the laserfoil is active, or if it is activated after the emitter breaks, the blade explodes violently, making a handy grenade in emergency situations. -Kanelio’s Guide to the Galaxy.

The weapon’s breakage point is an integral part of the plot, providing the focus point that puts the main characters where they are at the beginning of the tale.

Since I wanted to have Faster-Than-Light travel, or FTL, I had to design some sort of device to let my characters bypass lightspeed. Here it is:

Propulsion Drive: The things that make the starship move, and usually break down at just the wrong moment- such as when you are being chased by debt collectors. They are also known as the Fusion-Ionic Drive. Superheated plasma is focused by electric arcs so that the plasma nuclei start fusing. This creates an immense level of thrust, caused by expansion of the reaction mass. However, it also creates lots of neutron radiation. This is dealt with by charging the radiation into ion particles, which are also projected out the back of the Propulsion Drive. The ions alone are sufficient for in-system travel, and many ships have an ion-only drive for this purpose. -Kanelio’s Guide to the Galaxy.

With the Propulsion Drive, you can go extremely fast, but not quite break lightspeed. Hence the

Hyperdrive: A type of Fusion-Ionic Drive which supercharges the plasma streams themselves into ions, and uses Etherspace to bypass the speed of light and travel from one distant point to another.

Now I suppose I need to explain Etherspace.

Etherspace: Accessed by means of a Hyperdrive, which enables travel much faster than the speed of light. Etherspace is defined by one scientist as ‘The tunnels between wormholes’. It is theoretically the dimension that ships travel through if they pass through a wormhole, and thus ships that use Etherspace travel are personally creating short-lived wormholes. Of course, there are limitations- for example, you can’t go through a planet or star in Realspace while you are in Etherspace- if you try, you kinda go boom. This is why charts are useful.

Incedentally, Kanelio’s Guide to the Galaxy is sort of my galaxy’s version of the Hitchhiker’s Guide.

Writing Battle Scenes

While description is a good thing, too much description in any scene can cause the reader to become bored. Battle scenes should have even less description. Here’s an example of a battle scene:

Edmund faced off against his opponent. With a cry, they charged towards each other over the rough, dusty ground. Edmund drew his sharp, well-cared-for knife from its delicately tooled leather sheath at his hip, and the opponent took his battered knife from its’ own sheath of similar appearance to Edmund’s, but with black leather. The two reached each-other and began to duel. Edmund’s knife glanced off his opponent’s knife, causing a clinking sound, and the opponent retaliated. Their knives glinted and glittered reflectively in the bright sunlight.

See how much the description takes away from the action? Battle scenes are best written with short, staccato sentences, to convey the frenzied pace. Here’s the same event, but without unnecessary description.

Edmund charged his opponent. Drawing their blades, the two entered into a frenzied snickersnee. Knives flashed in the sun.

Much better!